Letters and The Word

Dear Jesus,

I am at the end of what I know to do. You say pray; that is what I am doing. You say write; I am doing this as well.

Forgive me that I lose heart. Forgive my unbelief…my little faith.

You come through for us every single time we need You. But we forget.

I forget.

I never thought I had enough when I had more that what was needed. Now that I am in this manna phase, or this Job phase, or this contentment with little phase, I just cannot find peace.

I worry about the bills.

School.

School clothes and school supplies for the kids.

I miss having enough to share.

I miss not worrying about groceries, or gas, or helping others.

I miss saying that I didn’t mind paying extra taxes if it meant others received the help they needed. How can I now turn it around and find what I need.

I know about the lilies in the field. You take good care of them, Lord. You take good care of all the little birds and flowers and animals.

Why do I not believe You will save us daily from the repo man, so to speak.

SO close.

I was so close.

We were so close to his retirement.

Forgive all the times I was ungrateful, Lord.

Help me remember that You are the God who will supply all my needs according to Your riches and glory. You will provide. You will open up the windows of heaven. You will fill our barns to overflowing.

Help me remember that I am the head and not the tail. I will lend and not borrow.