Letters and The Word

I am trying to live my life differently. I keep hearing about parents who have a strong faith in Christ and lose a child. It has always been my struggle to understand the Book of Job. How could he still be OK after losing all of his children? I freak out when we lose one job between us even though I still have mine.

I sometimes wonder if this is like a season of Job. I initially thought it was my manna season…God giving me enough just for the day and me learning to have daily dependence on Him. Now, however, I wonder if God is testing my faith. Is this going to be a season of how much I can lose – material possessions, beliefs, constants – and still remain faithful? I am scared and sad and sorry about not being strong enough – not being a good example of what it looks like to lose earthly possessions and still having eternal faith. Am I the camel that cannot entire the eye of the needle?